Part of the mediators role is to help you identify your underlying needs that are impacting on the issues you are concerned about, what it is in the current situation that you are not getting and what, ideally you would like from the workplace, your colleagues. Rather than identifying our needs, we often focus on our positions when we are in conflict. A position is something someone decides would create a solution to their concerns. They are understandable, but they are not always in our best interests. Positions can be limiting and only help parties remain stuck, whereas recognising and working on your needs will enable you to move on. To make sure you move away from positions, the mediator will expect you to: Remember what is important to you in the long term – what is at stake if this dispute keeps escalating? Ask yourself, ‘do I want this to work?’ – to use this as a positive opportunity to think about and plan for the future Try to resolve the past, or move past it to think about the future Hear people out – be prepared to listen to another person’s point of view. Be creative – to work with the mediator and other parties to think about different ways and ideas to meet your needs, and ultimately get what you want Be honest about how you are feeling Talk! Talking is not the same as agreeing – you do not have to agree with everything that is being discussed. Sometimes people do not talk in a mediation because they feel it is going to be held as evidence against them, or they just want the mediation to be over. By not engaging with the mediation you lose the opportunity to get the things that you need, or say things that others may need to hear Leave evidence gathering at the door. Mediation is not the space to either bring evidence or gather evidence – it is not about proving one person right above another. It is a chance to explore the things that are important to you and to understand what is important to your work colleagues and finding a mutually beneficial solution.